A Godly relationship

 A GODLY RELATIONSHIP 

(tiaan gildenhuys - tg@oicb.co.za) 

1 Thessalonians 5:23 teaches that we as human beings consist of three "parts" namely a spirit, a soul and a body.

"And the very God of peace sanctify you wholly; and I pray God your whole SPIRIT and SOUL and BODY be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ."

In the Greek of the New Testament things were always written in order of importance. From this we can see that the SPIRIT is named first, and is therefore the most important part. My spirit enables me to communicate with God's Spirit and also to worship Him in spirit and in truth.

John 4:24: "God is a Spirit: and they that worship him must worship him in SPIRIT and in truth."

My SOUL consists of my will, intellect and emotions in other words my personality or who I really am. And my BODY is the vehicle IN which my spirit moves around. So, I as a human being AM a spirit, HAVING a soul and LIVING IN a body.

I personally believe that every relationship between a man and a woman should similarly consist of spirit, soul and body. Specifically in that order.

I never knew this and nobody ever taught me this, so my personal relationships suffered the inevitable consequences. May this short article help young and old believers in Jesus Christ how to have Godly relationships with the men or women in their lives, especially in the instances where such relationships are on its way to culminate in a marriage. And may those believers teach it to their children and grandchildren so that they in turn may have Godly relationships and marriages.

In order to have such a Godly relationship I believe that when a man and a woman decide to enter into a relationship with each other, which may or may not eventually end in a marriage, they must first bond in SPIRIT. This means that they must first declare to each other how they feel about Jesus Christ and what their faith in Him is all about. Then they must start to serve and worship Him together by going to church, spiritual meetings, gospel concerts, etc. together, thereby FIRSTLY glorifying and honouring Jesus Christ in their relationship. This they must do even though their relationship may NOT lead to marriage, because then they will still keep their bodies holy and sanctified unto their eventual marriages as I will explain below.

Through this they will then in time also become SOUL-mates, enjoying each other's company, laughing at each other's silly jokes, getting to know each other etc.

And then – LASTLY - if that relationship ends in a marriage they can be united in BODY, after which their sexual relationship will be holy and Godly as they are then in God's perfect order and will for their marriage.

Ephesians 5:31: "For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two SHALL BE ONE FLESH."

This refers to the man and woman being sexually united IN MARRIAGE. And interestingly these words are written in the Bible four times.

But unfortunately, as a result of all the provocative and ungodly sexual media hype we have in the world, most relationships between men and women START with a sexual relationship (BODY). Then they eventually become "soul mates" just because they share the same sexual fantasies or something similar in a worldly and carnal sense. THEN, after living together for a while they decide to get married because "it is the right thing to do", after which they suddenly start thinking about which church to belong to in order to get married in, or to have "the children baptised in you know", etc. (*Please take note that I don't believe in infant baptism, but this is usually one of the arguments used by such a couple.*) And unfortunately it is only at this stage that many couples find out that they don't even believe in the same God, and eventually all hell breaks loose in that marriage. Thus the SPIRIT part, which is supposed to be THE MOST IMPORTANT PART of that relationship, becomes the least important.

How can I say that the SPIRIT must be FIRST and the BODY LAST, and NOT the other way round?

Well, let's just read the Bible.

Genesis 1:27: "So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them."

Take note that this verse is written in the Bible before Adam's body was formed in chapter 2 of Genesis. So who is this "man" that was created in the image and likeness of God? Don't forget to read the last few words that state: "...male and female created he THEM". Who - or what is this?

Read Genesis 5:2 now:

"Male and female created he THEM; and blessed them, and called THEIR name Adam (man), in the day when THEY were created".

Oh wow! So the "man" that was created in the image and likeness of God was not just a single being, but male AND female. Don't think for one moment that this has anything to do with the "androgynous being" of the occult which is simultaneously male and female! No! This male and female who were created together and who BOTH received the instruction "to have dominion" in verse 28 of Genesis 1, was the SPIRIT of the male and the female. And these two TOGETHER are created in the image of God.

That is why the man by himself is not in the image of God and the woman by herself is not in the image of God. But TOGETHER as a unit do they truly become "man" who is in the image and likeness of God. So the man has certain characteristics that the woman needs and the woman has certain characteristics that the man needs, in order for them TOGETHER - IN SPIRIT - to be the "man" that is created in the image and likeness of God. And this is exactly why satan does his best to ensure that men and women don't get to that place of SPIRITUAL UNITY because then he can make them feel unworthy or unloved or inferior.

These verses clearly prove that from the beginning of time the SPIRIT came first, just as the spirit must come first in any relationship in our modern day.

But now let us look what the "other side of the coin" is, if the BODY comes first in a  relationship? What are the consequences then?

We read this in Genesis 34:2,3:

"And when Shechem the son of Hamor the Hivite, prince of the country, saw her, he took her, and lay with her, and DEFILED her. And HIS SOUL CLAVE unto Dinah the daughter of Jacob, and he loved the damsel, and spake kindly unto the damsel."

So firstly we learn that the fact that Shechem slept with Dinah outside of marriage was Biblically deemed to be a "defilement". What makes us think that in our modern day God does not still deem such a deed as a defilement? After all, Malachi 3:6 and Hebrews 13:8 is clear that God has not changed but is the same yesterday, today and forever. And what did this eventually result in for Shechem?

Genesis 34:26: "And they slew Hamor and Shechem his son with the edge of the sword, and took Dinah out of Shechem's house, and went out."

Secondly we learn from this that an ungodly "soul tie" was formed between Shechem and Dinah because he had sex with her outside of marriage. And thirdly we learn that this deed cost him his life.

This very same thing happens to this day whenever a couple has sex outside of marriage. In the first instance it is Biblically still a "defilement", secondly they enter into an "ungodly soul tie" that binds them together outside of marriage. Depending on how many sexual partners they may have had, they may have quite a number of such "soul ties" keeping them in bondage and causing problems in their relationships. Thirdly, something "dies".

In most instances it is their own relationship that eventually dies, because it was NOT built on God and His Word from the beginning, but on the LUST OF THE FLESH. And even if they do get married afterwards, in most cases their sex life "dies" and they start to look around for the same excitement they had prior to their marriage... And of course that mostly leads to new "ungodly soul ties" being formed and eventually that marriage "dies"... And as a result of sexually transmitted diseases many times that man or woman also dies physically...

You see, the principles contained in God's Word never change.

The argument that most people, Christians included, and especially the young people use today is that there is no verse in the Bible that says sex outside of marriage is a sin. Another argument is that if they both consent to the sex, it is an act of love and not a defilement any longer. Well, firstly we have already seen in Genesis 34:2,3 that sex outside of marriage was deemed to be a defilement no matter what carnal arguments we may use today. But let us now also read Genesis 39:7-9:

"And it came to pass after these things, that his master's wife cast her eyes upon Joseph; and she said, LIE WITH ME. But he refused, and said unto his master's wife, Behold, my master wotteth not what is with me in the house, and he hath committed all that he hath to my hand; There is none greater in this house than I; neither hath he kept back any thing from me but thee, because thou art his wife: how then can I do this great wickedness, AND SIN AGAINST GOD?"

This is the well-known story of Joseph and Potiphar's wife. We see that she blatantly invites him to have sex with her, so if he did it would have been “consensual”. Yet Joseph, AS A MAN OF GOD, REFUSES. Why? The answer is found in the last few words he speaks:"...how then can I do this great wickedness and SIN AGAINST GOD?" Joseph knew that if he slept with Potiphar's wife, even if she consented, it would still be deemed a wickedness and a SIN against God. So no matter what any reverend, pastor, or professor of theology may tell you, sex outside of marriage even though it may be consensual, is STILL a sin against God! To this day!

And please, don't try to use the old argument that Genesis is Old Testament and not applicable to us anymore. Read 2 Timothy 3:16,17 with me:

"ALL SCRIPTURE IS GIVEN BY INSPIRATION OF GOD, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: That the man of God may be perfect, throughly furnished unto all good works."

This means nothing else but that EVERYTHING in the Bible, from Genesis to Revelation, was given by inspiration of God so that we can learn therefrom and eventually become perfect and furnished unto all good works.

The Bible is also clear what a young man should do if he has slept with a young girl. Read Exodus 22:14 and Deuteronomy 22:28, 29 with me:

"And if a man entice a maid that is not betrothed, and lie with her, HE SHALL SURELY ENDOW HER TO BE HIS WIFE."

"If a man find a damsel that is a virgin, which is not betrothed, and lay hold on her, and lie with her, and they be found; Then the man that lay with her shall give unto the damsel's father fifty shekels of silver, AND SHE SHALL BE HIS WIFE; because he hath humbled her, he may not put her away all his days."

From this it is clear, if a man sleeps with a woman he MUST marry her. Why? Because Deuteronomy 22:29 says he has "humbled her", in other words he has defiled her. Be very careful what you do with your body then, because as a Christian your body is still a temple of the Holy Spirit. Please don't defile your temples Christians! Keep yourselves holy and sanctified unto marriage.

1 Thessalonians 4:3: "For this is the will of God, even YOUR SANCTIFICATION, that ye should ABSTAIN FROM FORNICATION;...."

1 Corinthians 6:18-20: "FLEE FORNICATION. Every SIN that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication SINNETH against his own body. What? Know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: THEREFORE GLORIFY GOD IN YOUR BODY, AND IN YOUR SPIRIT, which are God's."

These verses cannot be put any clearer than it is written. FORNICATION IS SIN. And our BODIES and SPIRITS belong to God and should only glorify God. Many Christians do not take heed of the words contained in 1 Corinthians 6:19 above: "...and ye are NOT YOUR OWN..." The moment I become a child of God I DO NOT BELONG TO MYSELF or the world anymore. I was bought at a very dear price. The life of Jesus Christ! So I cannot hide behind my old arguments anymore. I must now glorify Jesus in my life.

Sin does NOT glorify God. And those verses cannot be "interpreted" to mean anything else than what it says, because 2 Corinthians 1:13 states:

"For we write NONE OTHER THINGS unto you, than what ye read or acknowledge; and I trust ye shall acknowledge even to the end;..."

May you read in the above-mentioned verses nothing else but the clear warnings contained therein and may it lead you to ABSTAIN from the deadly sin of fornication.

So dear friend, in order to have a Godly relationship and eventually a Godly marriage, or to teach others to have such a Godly relationship, take heed of the very important principle of spirit, soul and body.


Geniet jou week saam met Jesus! Enjoy your week with Jesus!

tiaan gildenhuys

e-mail: tg@oicb.co.za

Cell: 082 803 3326